"Charge", Accumulate

("Stress"-2)

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The unsaid, or what we cannot express

When we are unable to say what we feel or show our emotions, it can end up causing harm, both in our minds and bodies.

Experts such as Sigmund Freud and Claude Olievenstein have addressed this issue. Freud [1] showed that inner conflicts or unexpressed emotions can cause psychological or physical disorders.

Olievenstein [2] was interested in what we call the "unspoken" of emotions.

Trauma and stress in everyday life

Sometimes we experience trauma and forget the memory or the emotions associated with it, or both . This can cause psychological or physical disturbances.

But it's not just the big shocks: the small, everyday stresses, even if they are not repressed, are often ignored or minimized.

Their intensity is less than a real trauma, but they come back almost every day.

Little by little, like drops of acid on steel, they end up wearing down our resistance. One day, it's the last straw, and everything cracks.

Where do these "drips" come from? There are many, but one of the main reasons is poor emotional management.

A concrete example

Imagine a work meeting. Your boss makes an unpleasant, unfair, or wrong remark in front of everyone. You feel your anger rising (you "charge" with anger), but you don't respond. You don't dare, or you can't, express your anger at the time. The meeting continues, other topics are discussed, and by the end, you've either forgotten your anger or it doesn't seem to affect you as much anymore.

But where has this emotion gone?

We often think it's gone, but that's not the case. Perhaps you've already experienced the following situation: after the meeting, you tell a colleague or loved one what happened. As you talk , your anger returns, your voice rises . It's your emotion trying to get out.

During the meeting, you "stored" this anger, without your knowledge, in your knowledge [3] , like in a pressure cooker already full of other unexpressed emotions. It did not evaporate .

The emotional valve

By telling what happened, you are unknowingly using a kind of psychological "safety valve" [4] , like that of a pressure cooker.

If you learn to use this valve consciously, you will be able to better manage your emotions and prevent them from building up.

We could multiply the daily examples of emotional "charges" that have not been the subject of emotional "discharges" under adequate conditions.

This phenomenon isn't just about anger. We can accumulate all sorts of unexpressed emotions, and this creates stress.

Good news: we can take action

Everyone can learn to reduce this type of stress, and it can even help them better manage other sources of tension.

How to do this? This is what we will see for four key emotions: fear, anger, grief, and joy.

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We welcome your comments and questions about this series "Stress" (S405)! Click the "Leave a Review" button below.

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Soon

The Next Episode: Emotions and Feelings .

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References

[1] Sigmund Freud , "Inhibition, Symptom and Anxiety", 1926, Payot ed.

[2] Claude Olievenstein , "The Unspoken of Emotions", Éditions Odile Jacob, 1988 [3] INSU : An instance of the 2L Model which brings together preconscious and unconscious, individual and collective. See the 2L Series " INSU " for initiation to the 2L Model.

[4] Pressure cooker valve : It releases excess steam to prevent the pressure from increasing dangerously, thus ensuring the safety of the user.